Living Wholeness: Finding Holy in the Hole

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Turning 50 was a rite of passage, crossing over an unseen, yet strongly felt threshold, complete with grief, celebration and a honoring of the Circle of Life.  The essence of my life had become so clear, and yet the form was in turbulent flux, it was like being the clear blue sky and the shifting clouds at the same time. 

Clarity and confusion, hope and despair, oneness and separation- life’s polarities felt like being on a yin-yang hamster wheel moving at the speed of thought, going somewhere and nowhere all at the same time.

In the few years prior, one after another, all the structures of my life shattered (marriage, health, investments, business, housing), and as I kept stepping back to find a more meta-viewpoint, I kept asking, “What is this all about?!?”

As the hell of trying to understand life from my current perspective became more intense, I adventured further into new inner terrain, turning toward the full spectrum of pain, and being with the discomfort. It meant surrendering to a higher power and accepting the guidance that facilitated an elemental shift in consciousness of what was beyond the turmoil.

And what I discovered, through all the storms of mental and physical chaos, was that the light of awareness continued to shine, a steady and unwavering invitation to discover what is beyond the yin-yang hamster wheel of life, and allow the truth of what I really am to become self-obvious.  

There is something holy about being willing to stay in the hole in order to discover what is whole from one’s direct experience.

To create from fear, lack, and justification is hard, if not downright impossible, and any satisfaction is fleeting and temporary.  Been there, and done that.  And I know now, there is another way. 

Earlier this year as my life was dramatically changing; a friend shared the “rearview mirror” metaphor. When you first drive away from a skyscraper, you might only see the first floor in your rear-view mirror.  But as you drive further and further away, more and more of the skyscraper comes into view in the context of the surrounding skyline, and what you see in the rear view mirror takes on new meaning.  

It’s been 9 months since I closed my 16 year old heart-founded business of Whole-Body Movement and Whole-Body Health through Pilates, and the “whole” picture I see in the “rear-view mirror” now is colored with gratitude and appreciation for everyone that everything in the last 16 years that unfolded in service to my growth on all levels.  

In continuing to learn and grow, a new vision for my work/contribution to community has emerged.

“Fulfillment in every home, and your world in harmony.”

In service to this vision, a new business has birthed, and Moriyama Leadership Coaching is now visible in the world offering personal & professional coaching, personal retreats, workshops, and physical and energetic embodiment training.  This business is an invitation into sustainable fulfillment through adventure and discovery for the body, mind and spirit.  

To me, “Fulfillment in every home” means that personal values are being acknowledged, both when there are honored and when they are stepped on.

It also means that there are conversations about what really matters, and there is sincere effort to create mutuality and support for everyone to pursue their heart’s deepest desires. The energy is open, resilient, safe, and there is unconditional acceptance for what is, and there is heart-based courage to take appropriate action in service to the highest good of all.

And as more and more homes become oasis of fulfillment, I envision the energy of the world continuing to shift from agitated chaos, to harmonious tension.

Change is a truth of life, (i.e. relationships, bodies, values, goals), and the tension change creates does not have to be fought with resistance.   From the perspective of Wholeness, there is safety and space for all feelings to arise and dissipate, much like the clouds on the sky, so that clear reason and inner knowing can point the way forward.  When we come from the perspective of Wholeness, we realize there are always options that support ease, grace and compassion for the body-mind, even when there are difficult decisions that have great impact and require tremendous amounts of action.  

Nature is a living example of harmonious tension.  It is whole, complete and enough as it is.  One of the reasons I love doing personal retreats in nature is that nature readily gives us direct experience of what it means to be living in harmonious tension and what it feels like to be whole if we are open to it.  

Living Wholeness is living from the premise that you are already perfect, whole and complete just as you are, even if you don't know what you want and where you are going.  

To create from a perspective of Wholeness is be peaceful and secure in one's full power, and the process and results are very different from creating from a perspective of lack and "not enough."  In my experience, it is the difference between the ease of allowing vs. the struggle of forcing.  Coaching is an adventure of discovery: discovering what you really want at deeper and deeper levels, discovering what it means to be peaceful and secure at deeper and deeper levels, and discovering how to go with the flow of life.  

Here are a few questions inspired by the founder of the Sedona Method of Letting Go Lester Levenson and my teacher Hale Dwoskin that you can ask yourself to get in touch with what the phrase “Living Wholeness” is pointing to:

•    Could you be open to the possibility that you are enough, and have enough?
•    Could you be open to the perfection where the seeming imperfection appears to be?

Fulfillment starts with you – and just pondering these questions will create space for your whole life to transform with greater acceptance, love and peace.

I invite you to join the adventure of inner discovery for the sake of a world in harmony, and as Mahatma Ghandi said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”